“He’s gone.” Two little words altered my life forever. In my Washington, D.C. hotel room, I collapsed to the floor in grief. My 18-year-old brother had been killed in a construction accident. My honeymoon ended with a late night drive through mountains hazed with dense fog to come home for my brother’s funeral. I had not even been married for a full week.
My first question, and one I sometimes still ask, is “Why?” That particular hurricane pounded my life with intense struggle for six months before the waves began to calm. If I’m honest, I must admit I sometimes still hear a rumble 41 years later. The essence of my struggle isn’t just, “Why?” The naked truth? It’s “Why me?”
Many storms do not begin with a horrendous, life-altering event such as mine. But even squalls can cause us to wonder where God is and why He allows the billows to blow. Storms may be physical—an accident, illness, or a literal storm in the natural realm. They may also be emotional, caused by a divorce, betrayal, or dysfunction in a family. Some of the most stressful storms are spiritual, in which circumstances cause us to doubt the power or goodness of God. The storm trifecta is a mixture of all three, such as I endured in my brother’s death and my subsequent spiritual crisis.
Many helpful—but sometimes misguided—people offer explanations.
- The rain falls on the just and the unjust.
- God allows hard times so your faith will grow.
- If we never had bad times, we wouldn’t appreciate the good times.
I must say, none of these platitudes comforted me in my darkest hour. I implored God for an explanation of why my brother had been allowed to die and why my honeymoon ended in shipwreck. Do you want to know God’s reply?
If I may paraphrase a six-month conversation, God said, “I’m your Father; you’re my child. You will not always understand my ways. Just know this—I care how much you hurt, and if you will take my hand, I’ll walk with you and comfort you until the sun shines again.” His voice is confirmed in his Word, which says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged” (Deuteronomy 31:8).
Instead of regarding life’s storms as unwelcome afflictions, my perspective has changed. Storms come to everyone, and they will also come to me. Why? I don’t always have an answer. But I do know each tempest is an opportunity to draw closer to God and experience a deeper dimension of his love.
Sail on.